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i bloody love watching star wars on a sundsay afternoon.
it just feels so right.

Dec. 5th, 2007

sometimes words cannot describe how fucking funny i find Scrubs!

it is officially my happy place.

Nov. 21st, 2007

Its me again, about to moan about my non existant jobless life (get out the small violins)

na, im gonna try and not ramble about being a government scrounging arse hole. instead im going to write down my thought about the fattest man in britain.

true story.

i watched a documentary type thing last night about the fattest man in britain, who was 49 stone. He didn't even seem to care that he was the size of a mammoth, that he was slowly killing himself and that he had no real quality of life. On a heavy night out he drank 40 pints, and then went for a curry where he had something like 5 main dishes, 5 sides, 3 rice and all the naan bread. His girlfriend (who was also fat... and very brummy) fed up him the same as a family of 5 aswell. She cooked him a cottage pie and it wasnt your average portion, he ate a WHOLE pie.... in a dish the size of a big baking tray, like practically oven sized.

Anyway im rambling. But then i realised that i have indeed turned into a bitter sadistic little shite, when i thought to myself that surely someone needs to just kill him and put him out of his misery? Or better just kill himself. I mean, there really was no way out, he had no control of his eating and his stomach was like 3 times bigger than the average so he'd always be hungry if he did eat less.

Even worse he didn;t have a job, because he was so fat, which means he also was a government scrounging arse hole, but how much money did he get exactly!? I mean to afford 40 pints on a night out, 25 on an average night, about 9 curry dishes a week, and then most mornings he ate two cooked breakfasts from a greasy spoon, thats an absurd amount of money... that hes not even earning.

It just puts everything into perspective. Think of all the starving children all over the world, and theres our government lining the pockets of fat bastards like him, and not so fat bastards like me. Our government is fucked, the priorities are all wrong. I think they should just scrap benefits and people should be able to fend for themselves, and if they cant, fuck it they should starve like millions of others all over the world.


In other news i have lots of canvases that i have painted and some textile art, plus a shite load of jewellery i made.... with nowhere to sell it. I intended on doing the art/craft fair in Newport but theres no space left. Anyone know where i can sell it? Or wanna advertise for me? :P
i want to see the world, whos with me?

by the way, how much is xmas poo? I really cant be arsed with it anymore. its lost all meaning bla bla bla i sound like my nan yes but its true.

i am officially a scrooge and i love it!
I am officially a stereotypical newport resident...

I just signed on.

I never thought it would come to this, but it has. Bastards!

Anywho apart from being a skanky benefit laundering newport skag, i haven't got much to report on. Everything is OK, not great or bad but Ok, which is.... Ok i suppose. I read a random journal and got inspired so i thought i'd do this:

three things i have eaten today:
fresh pasta, goats cheese and sweet pepper mmm
beans on toast
a snickers flapjack

three things i miss:
my dad
uni times
having money

three artists/bands i am currently loving:
silversun pickups
animal collective

three things on my wall:
a black and white photo i took in photography in my first year of college
a radiohead cassette sleeve that phill gave me once as part of a really nice present
my LCD tele (swish!)

three things i wanna do very soon:
go on holiday
get a job i like
get my own place

three things i hate:
branston pickle
banging my elbows

cant you tell im bored. x
i am sooooooooooooooooo bloody fed up, my life seems to have just stopped since i have left uni and moved home.

i still cant find/get a job, whoever said getting a degree would open more doors? they were obviously talking through their arse. seriously, the past 2 months have all merged into one really long tedious day, i seem to have lost any kind of motivation i ever had.

my hairs a mess because im skint, the money i do get i end up spending on alcohol on the weekends. i really cant stick living at home after being independant for three years, its just shit, if i leave a plate in the sink i'm gonna get an earful, if i dont come home for a couple of days i get the cold shoulder, im bored of the same four walls. i never thought i'd say this but im bored shitless of watching tele and may have even watched myself out of scrubs (i never imagined this could happen) i want to do my degree all over again.

anyway im moaning now. i seem to have lost all hope and belief in myself and would quite enjoy to curl up into a ball and hibernate for a few years.


Beirut - After the Curtain

i fooking love this song i do. Me & Phillip are going to see them again in Cardiff woop (when tickets come on sale!)
i love the way my mum asks me to decorate the hall, and then dismisses all of the paint colours i choose! Its nice to know that someone has faith in the fact that i've just done a 3 year interior design degree..

not that what i did was really at all interior design, i have not been taught to and neither do not pride myself on picking out paint colours but i like to think i have a good eye for colour and contrast.

anyway i have an online portofolio here www.coroflot.com/laurenbrown (i dont remember HTML anymore!) i dont know what i actually do, im not an interior designer, im not an architect, im not an artist. this is why i feel lost, i dont know what kind of jobs to apply for and i dont know what i am technically qualified to do!

i'd like to think that i can mostly be described as an arhictetural 'public artist' and taking on Russ' suggestion would like to coloborate with someone somewhere to create some public art - of which i will design, and they can make (or fund someone to make) i think Newport is in need of some new public art. i mean what do we have to show, the wave? (a steel monstrosity) the pig statue outside the market (need i say more) and some shitty steel sculpture of semi important people that nobody gives a shite about anyway.

i think i may look into some funding and maybe speak to the council...i dont know what else to do? anyone have any ideas?

in the mean time ill just sell everything i own on ebay.x

Sep. 16th, 2007

i have to tell you all about Sailor Jerry rum. It is possibly the nicest spirit drink ive ever ever had! You drink it with coke and its like a splash of heaven in a glass - im not even a fan of coke, especially with alcohol but its so damn good! If you ever see it anywhere, try some. I NEVER see it in a bar or club, my union had it because the bar manager loved it, and a pub in Camden had it, thats all!

Tis a bit random i know, but i was just thinking of my favourite things as i was making some marmite on toast (mmm) and thats definately up there along with monkeys and ice slices..

p.s my marmite on toast was especially good. marks and spencer wholemeal bread, the perks of living at home! no more smart price white!


♥The Person You Have Come To Fear The Most

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